Funerals should be celebrations of a life lived !
Christopher can’t tell you how many funerals he has been involved with. Whilst a Lay Minister in the Church of England he was asked to take them from time-to time, and used the standard resources available to him.
In 1999 , whilst still a Lay Minister, he was made Redundant from his job as a Warehouse manager and after a week or so found a new job working at a local Undertakers. On his first day, he was taken by his new boss into the cold and foreboding place that was the mortuary. He will always remember what she said “Each person here is someone’s loved one, remember that, and show every respect”.
He had already been accepted for
Ordination training and so he decided
that every funeral he was involved
with would be an opportunity to learn.
He had done so much work in the
background, and was there at the
final send-off. When colleagues went
outside to move the hearse, or arrange
flowers he decided to stay and
observe.
He was appalled at what he saw inside the Crematorium chapel or church.
So often, whether it was a religious or non-religious service, an opportunity was missed and consumed in a desire by the person taking the service to “say the words” . Christopher witnessed Priests making no eye contact, saying little about the person who had died, and even getting the name wrong ! He witnessed non-religious funerals which were drab and dreary – not because of a lack of religious content – but rather because they lacked celebration and depth. So many lost opportunities at the MOST important moment to share, celebrate and remember. Not all were bad, some were very good and he learned a new phrase “A Celebration of Life”. He was determined that once ordained he would not “Bury the Dead” , but “Celebrate lives”.
"I have many letters of thanks for what I have said and done at these Celebrations – I have never done anything, I have simply been alongside people, empathised with them and sought in the limited time available to put together a celebration. We don’t gather together simply to say goodbye – indeed far from it – we gather to give thanks , celebrate and share."
East of England Chaplaincy team are available to Celebrate the life of your loved one whose life has ended. As Priests in the Open Episcopal Church we is not constrained by particular ways of doing this, and in this most important part of our Ministry we work closely with every family to produce something that adequately reflects the uniqueness of their loved one. Every service is tailored and unique.
Just because we are Priests, it doesn’t mean that our style and approach is necessarily Religious. We can offer a traditional religious service wearing traditional robes through to a completely non-religious service in shirt and tie ! (and everything in between) . Because we believe that we are called to share Unconditional Love with all, what we do is a result of that – and we respects your own views. We are competent and experienced in every type of “funeral” Ministry.
Whilst many Clergy in traditional Church denominations try very hard to keep in touch with the families they have been involved with in this Ministry, over stretched Clergy and other pressures often make this impossible to sustain.
We are committed to be ALONG SIDE YOU as long as you need and will continue to stay in touch and offer support if you want us to.
When a loved one dies, often the main celebration of their life takes place at a Church, Crematorium or Graveside. In recent years many have chosen eco-friendly burial grounds. It doesn’t have to be like this! A man who has a passion for Golf, why can’t the celebration of his life take place on his favourite golf-course or in the club bar? A Woman who has enjoyed walking, why not in a favourite glade? A child who lived life to the full and loved the swings, why not in his/her favourite park? Yes, the final moment of goodbye is at a cemetery or crematorium , but the preceding celebration doesn’t need to be – it can even be at home !
